What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is often about power and control. It can occur in any relationship, regardless of gender, sexuality, age, race, or background. Abuse is not often physical. It can be emotional, financial, sexual, or psychological. 

LGBTQIA+ relationships

Domestic abuse within LGBTQIA+ relationships is more common than you might imagine, and symptoms of an abusive relationship can be different to those in a heteronormative relationship. Unique forms of abuse within the LGBTQIA+ community can include:

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• Threatening to "out" someone against their will

• Undermining gender identity or sexuality​

• Using HIV status or transition history as a means of control over a person

• Isolating someone from affirming spaces such as LGBTQIA+ support networks

• Telling people that abuse is "normal" within queer relationships

Signs of abuse

Abuse is not always obvious and can manifest in many different ways. For example:

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• Constant criticism, gaslighting, or humiliation

• Physical violence or unwanted sexual contact

• Controlling your money, schedule, or appearance

• Threats, blackmail, or emotional manipulation

• Isolation from friends, family, or LGBTQIA+ spaces

• Monitoring your messages, location, or social media

If you feel as though something is wrong, it is worth paying attention to. Abuse is never your fault.